“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.” – Robert Sawyer

 

We live in a world of constant information.  We have emails, text messages, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Periscope, and a myriad of other ways to receive communications – literally walking around with us every single moment or every single day.  We get beeped, pinged, alerted, pushed, and buzzed throughout the day and night.  Some people have gone as far as to create “quiet hours” on their iPhone or Android devices to schedule 6-8 hours a time for uninterrupted sleep.

 

Think of the world our parents lived in . . . mail was delivered once a day by the US Postal Service, the phone was attached to a wall or sitting on a desk, and overnight was limited to Federal Express.  When the previous generation left the proximity of a phone or mailbox, they left the influx of information.  Vacations, walks in the park, or drives to an event were times of only personal communications.

 

I’m not advocating for unplugging or disconnecting from our world; it’s our reality.  It is OUR world.  I am advocating for balance and the ability to develop a new skill.  The skill of prioritizing and ignoring.  In order to find inner peace . . . in order to make time for ourselves . . . in order to be at our best . . . we must find ways to press pause in our own lives.  We must decide that getting our mind right includes not taking on every problem, every situation, and every event immediately.  “Learning to ignore things” is a skill – a skill we must all build.

 

Take some time today to reflect on your purpose, on what you value most, and use this as your guidepost.  You can’t be everything to everyone unless you are at peace with yourself.  Serving others, leading others, requires an inner core that builds skill and continually seeks balance.

“Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head.  Raise the rent and kick them out.”  – Robert Tew

 

Research clearly demonstrates that the person we talk to the most, on a daily basis, is ourselves.  The Mayo Clinic defines self-talk as “the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head . . . they can be positive or negative.”  Furthermore, “if your thoughts are mostly positive, you’re likely an optimist – a someone who practices positive thinking.”

 

Research is clear – positive self-talk has a statistically significant impact on performance.  Furthermore, it has both a physical and a mental affect on performance.  Optimism both literally and figuratively pays dividends in performance.  This is why it is so important to remove yourself from those who simply Blame, Complain, and Defend (BCD).  BCD has never solved a problem or strengthened a relationship – so don’t do it and don’t associate with those who may bring you down.

 

Negative and toxic people are like parasites – they drain your energy and plant negative thoughts in your head.  Negative people, energy vampires, live off your energy.  These people seek to multiply and bring others down to their level.  We must win the battle to stay above the line; we must purposefully place distance between the toxic people and those who have passion for growth.

 

Today – starting right now – prepare yourself for battle.  Prepare yourself to take on the negative, toxic people in your live.  Have the courage to have some courageous conversations.  Be prepared to say, “If you continue to be negative I’m not going to engage in this conversation” – and walk away.

 

Raise the rent – kick them out!

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”  – Aristotle

 

We are all faced with constant change, we have committed to embrace productive discomfort, and we have dedicated ourselves to our passion for growth.  We value excellence and we understand that growth requires reflection, adaptation, and change.  Our schools continue to start new initiatives, focus on the future, and relentlessly seek opportunities to prepare students for future success.  We live our vision – we want students to be Ready for Tomorrow.

 

While we work as a team – and we value our collective vision for the future – in reality it starts with you.  Organizational change will not be successful until the individuals in the organization change first.  It isn’t about me; it isn’t about your principal or supervisor.  It is about you.  Do you believe in the work we are doing?  Do you believe that the journey we have embarked on together is heading in the right direction?

 

You must know yourself.  What is your personal VBO?  What are your personal values?  We all have a vision . . . we all have values.  Sure, you may not have taken the time to write them down – or even think of them in an intentional manner – but you have values.  Your values drive your behaviors and are creating outcomes.

 

Over the next day or two, think about what you value.  Write it down . . . talk about it with your family, a friend, or a colleague.  Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.  Once you know yourself you can then help shape our future together.  I value you . . . you are a part of a larger organization.  Together – and only together – can we collectively take our district to higher levels of performance.

 

“The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it.”  – Chinese Proverb

 

We live in a world of naysayers.  It is easy to say “we can’t do that” and to get out of the way.  In fact, these people are rarely accountable when great accomplishment takes place.  The “it can’t be done” individual is usually nowhere to be found when greatness is achieved.  Don’t let people who say “it can’t be done” get in your way.  Don’t permit pessimists bring you down.  Don’t empower those fearful of change to impede your passion for growth.  You are too important.  Your beliefs – your inner core – are too strong to let a someone with a fixed mindset block your growth.

 

Let’s go one step further – let’s be mentors for others.  Let’s create a system of both values and accountability.  When we achieve success, don’t have an “I told you so” mindset, but do share accomplishments.  We must bring the masses along for the ride.  We must share our success at overcoming fear; we must share that the lessons learned from failure were the foundation for our successes.

“Authenticity is a state of being, a level of coherence with one’s self.  It is not a matter of feeling authentic but of being authentic and being aware of one’s true self.”   – Leadership Lessons from West Point

 

Do you have a personal culture blueprint?  Do you have clear values, focused behavior to support your values, and expected outcomes based on your values?

 

Before you can lead others, you must be able to lead yourself.  Before you can support the organization’s vision and values, you must be aware of your own self.  Your authenticity is predicated on a coherent understanding of your own values and belief.  Think about the people you know who are most authentic . . . think about people you know that are the most confident in their own values and belief.  Now, make a commitment for you to be that self aware.

 

Commit to do more than thinking about your values.  Commit to write them down, to talk about them with those closest to you, and to reflect and clarify them.  It takes time; it isn’t accomplished in a sitting, a day, or a week.  Taking the time to intentionally become an authentic leader – to become authentic in your 20 square feet – will serve as a cornerstone in your own behavior.  Your values must be happening “in you” before alignment can happen “through you.”

“I don’t have to agree with your to like or respect you.”   – Anthony Bourdain

 

I love having passionate discussions about issues.  I have the highest respect for people who disagree with me, push me, and debate with me.  I enjoy deep, meaningful conversations about education, politics, economics, and religion.  Our best team meetings aren’t when everyone agrees – they are when smart, dedicated professionals have in-depth interactions that make everyone involved better.

 

Many of my closest friends are divergent thinkers.  Many of my most respected peers approach this work from a completely different perspective.  I am better because of these relationships.  The Yin and Yang – the complementary thought leaders – produce a more complete vision.

 

We’ve lost the art of disagreeing in an agreeable manner.  Everything has become about winning – about getting our way.  There are times when the best outcome isn’t anyone’s individual solution, but a solution created by the group.

 

Don’t be disagreeable – be respectful.  For us, as leaders, it is imperative that we press pause and instill this in others.  Make a commitment right now, commit to this with me, you are going to engage people differently.  You are going to have courageous conversations to model respect and passion.  Openly speak about your respect for those who disagree – intentionally push back a little and share your love for the conversations.

“Shared Values are not restrictive; rather, they provide freedom of action for subordinates when it is not possible for higher authority to provide constant guidance.”  – Leadership Lessons from West Point

 

Elite organizations have uncommon focus and clarity.  Elite leaders cultivate shared values and behavior within the organization.  Leadership isn’t about giving commands.  Leadership, in my opinion, is about the culture.  Leaders create results by first building a foundation of trust – by leading with character, building connections, and technical skills.  Trust is paramount to results; it is the key.

 

Organizations achieve results through shared values, clarity of purpose, and accountability from within.  True, leaders must know when to have courageous conversation, but more importantly leaders lead from shared values.  Clarity of shared values drives the organization and provides greater freedom for all in the organization to be autonomous, self-motivated, and self-regulated.

 

Constant guidance creates a ceiling – results are limited to the directives given by the leader.  Shared values create limitless potential – shared values provide a safety-net without a ceiling.

 

“Busyness causes blindness and amnesia. You can become so busy that you lose sight of what you’re doing and forget why it matters. Busy leaders fall into frustration produced by immersion without reflection.”  – Dan Rockwell

 

We all fall into this trap from time to time.  We get so busy – we become frenetic – and we lose sight of what’s most important.  What’s worse is when we revel in our busyness – when we see our busyness as martyrdom.  When we reach this frenzied pitch we have tunnel vision – we fail to press pause and get our minds right.

 

As educators, as parents, and as leaders we must protect time to listen and observe.  Building relationships, developing trust, is predicated on our ability to use all our senses to make reflective, purposeful decisions.  When we are ramped-up and hectic, when our busyness causes us to operate on autopilot and without reflection, we are operating by default.  When we operate below the line we are less than our best.

 

Purposefully make time to observe and reflect.  Fight the urge to move from one thing to the next – intentionally create time for reflection.  Embrace your passion for growth with the understanding that growth comes from a relentless commitment to reflection and self-awareness.  Busy doesn’t equate to productive – it simply means you are probably permitting the world to pass by you.